Skip to content

I’m to be listed in Who’s Nobody in America!

July 11, 2007

Heidi’s brilliant “Diary of a Nobody” has apparently spawned a spin-off series. The publishers of Who’s Nobody in America have found and contacted me. I completed their questionnaire, and they have assured me of a listing, in a handsome leatherette-bound volume!

The questionnaire was fairly basic. The questions, to the best of my recollection, read like this:

1. Is 90% or more of your mail addressed to “Resident” or “Occupant” or “Addressee,” or does the bulk of your mail consist of catalogues and other material of an impersonal, commercial nature?

2. Do you belong to one or fewer organizations, clubs, or societies? If so, are there any other members?

3. Do the majority of your birthday and Christmas cards come from business organizations you patronize?

4. You are at a cafe with friends. You get up to get a coffee refill. Before you return, someone from a neighboring table asks your friends whether they are using your chair. Your friends say, “No.” Has this happened to you?

5. Do you prefer to discuss planetary physics over Paris Hilton?

6. Do you plan to vote for Ron Paul?

7. Would you characterize yourself as a strongly expressed (a) introvert; (b) extrovert; (c) neither?

8. Do your own pets prefer other people’s laps?

9. Do you typically have more than 300 cell phone minutes left over at the end of the month?

10.) Do you have a general sense of life that your future is behind you?

I’m not sure how the questionnaire was scored and weighted, but I am an official nobody in America. I feel so understood!

  1. scribbles2day permalink
    July 12, 2007 7:28 am

    It was the Ron Paul question. And congrats on being a nobody! I am mortified!

  2. July 12, 2007 9:47 am

    It’s something we all aspire to. Good work.

  3. kamelda permalink
    July 13, 2007 3:17 pm

    I received this questionnaire too. I couldn’t complete it due to indecision. Ruben completed it for me: I wound up with too little score to be a nobody. I didn’t make it into the book. I am to be contacted about a book where don’t publish names just assign you a number.

    I don’t even have pets. All my friends pets prefer other people. You see how I didn’t make it. I’m so proud of you, though. Congratulations. Sincerely. I’m not bitter.

Comments are closed.