Who knows why glasses explode? Thermal stress and hairline fractures account for big casualties at our house. Over the years, we have purchased three or four sets of six water glasses. Two were Fiesta, and one, maybe two, were Libby. The cupboard is bare testimony of zero survivors.
I don’t know how these things happen. We’ve probably destroyed only two glasses by dropping them or whacking them against the faucet; the rest spontaneously exploded when we were nowhere near them, or when we were drying them. Or perhaps my famous resonance, or capacitance, which disrupts telemetric devices, is responsible.
Over the holidays, we had five people over, and we had four glasses for seven of us. I issued three mugs. Then, another glass exploded in my hands. My Tupperware mug filled in when we had another couple over. Fearing serious bodily injury, we decided to discard the remaining two Libby glasses.
My two Anchor Hocking cups have withstood many tests. I bought them in 1994 so my study buddy and I could have tea in my hotel room when we took the Bar exam. They have survived two moves and constant use. They are sturdy and American. So I decided to get some Anchor Hocking water glasses.
I had no idea where to find them easily, so I checked Amazon, and sure enough, twelve beautiful Anchor Hocking 16-ounce water glasses could be had for $24.99. Gum didn’t qualify for super-saver shipping, so I ordered Loraine Boettner’s The Millennium to bring the order over $25.00 and got free shipping.
Twelve glasses! My husband and I have never known such a pinnacle of lifestyle elan. I suspect they will survive us by millennia, stoutly unaffected by thermal stresses and whatever cosmic impacts bring about artery-threatening hairline fractures in more expensive, inferior glasses.
If you are one of those people who has a hutch filled with glasses and china that you never use, you might not fully apprehend my kid-in-the-toystore ecstasy. Twelve glasses!
I could host a caucus. I could go without washing glasses for a week. I could open the cupboard and feel undeservedly rich in glasses. I could have a water tasting party. The imagination skips wildly at the insouciant thrill of it all. Twelve glasses!