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You know you’re old when…

June 4, 2008

You forget to turn the calendar over to the month of your birthday; the days go by, and you still haven’t turned the page;

You receive a gift VISA and redeem it for prescriptions instead of something fun;

You’re giving away things you use occasionally, because “occasionally” is unlikely to recur in your lifetime;

People under 45 speak an alien language;

You haven’t said, “I’m not deaf!” in a while to people who are actually shouting;

Small print is a personal insult;

If you are American, you refer to your country as “the country,” not as “the Homeland;”

You conjugate the verb “to be” and wish everyone did;

You know that the past participle of “to go” is not “went” and wish everyone did;

You know that “I” is the subjective pronoun and “me” is the objective pronoun, and wish everyone did;

You spend more time removing hair from your brush than brushing your hair;

A person in her twenties has looked at you with incredulous suspicion when you explained that there were no videos when you were in high school, or even when you were in college; and, in fact, you grew up on filmstrips….

Your fingers have been stained purple with mimeograph ink;

You have watched Bonanza in black and white;

You remember full-service gas for twenty-three cents a gallon, and the attendant even washed your windshield;

Your father–or you!–served your country in the military during an actual declared war.


  1. June 4, 2008 1:14 pm

    Ah yes, times have changed a lot. I liked the grammar observations and I still think film strips are more fun than PowerPoint.

  2. Jane permalink
    June 5, 2008 6:56 am

    And I miss my 45s and LP albums, $.25 BIG Archie comic books and $.05 candy bars. I was really bummed when we were having lunch at the University Place Shari’s about 6 years ago, and the waitress asked me if I wanted a Senior Menu. How was I to know they’d lowered the age to 35????

  3. Laura permalink
    June 5, 2008 7:21 am

    :p Hey, we redeemed our gift Visa mostly for necessary groceries. Not much better.

    If you go to NJ the attendant will still wash your windshield. Can’t speak for the price of gas there, though.

    As to the declared war, funny. Sort of.

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