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Do I look like a stimulus package to you?

August 28, 2010

If the comprehensive house inspection our enterprising buyers have engaged uncovers nothing to daunt their fearless determination to become near-zero-equity home buyers, they will likely dislodge this contingency from our buy-sell contract, and proceed toward an orderly closing. They will write the check backed by other people’s money, including our own, and by the time they gas up the U-Haul, they could possibly find themselves among millions of other happy under-water Americans.

With new government regulations in effect, the same shenanigans offer a repeat performance of the mortgage implosion, with a kinder gentler dynamic. There is no lender predation, because everything is legal and expected. Predation has shifted to the sphere of buyer upon seller. Why shouldn’t the seller bear the burden — the buyer owns the market. Our well-kept home was competing for buyers’ attention with hundreds of bank-owned properties.

Our net worth will be lightened by closing costs totaling more than the total price I paid in 1982 for a very decent home on a half acre of land. Over 30% of these closing costs will represent the buyers’ closing costs, which I agreed to pay, because I have an agreeable nature under coercion of Market Reality.

And why should we not be agreeable? We are among the most fortunate of home sellers. We are not under water. We made money on our house. Our net gain will be the exact equivalent of having put the cost of our home into an interest-bearing checking account at a rate of .1% for the same period of time. By the time I factor in the gas to go to the bank, we might as well have put the money in a coffee can for those years.

I wish the best for these kids, I really do. I know they will make wonderful neighbors to our present neighbors, and they certainly seem very committed to the prospect of home and yard stewardship. The Millennial attitude of, Get it now because there won’t be any left, isn’t really that misplaced.

The definition of Market Reality is: The Thing I Cannot Change. I cry aloud, but there is no judgment. Job 19:7


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